


three dead hearts in the aftermath of a betrayal

by SunflowerAndTheSea



Series: Life in fragments; of love and pain, and forgiveness. [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Betrayal, Coping, M/M, Pain, Post-Movie: The Old Guard (2020), They break my heart, but not too well, so i had to write something equally heartbreaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26108842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerAndTheSea/pseuds/SunflowerAndTheSea
Summary: The aftermath comes to them quietly, and it tastes like a mouthful of bitter wine against the raw throat - and it breaks them slowly, and it takes its time.
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova/Original Female Character(s), Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Life in fragments; of love and pain, and forgiveness. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895677
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	three dead hearts in the aftermath of a betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> (year: 2020, a couple of months after the movie)

The aftermath comes to them quietly, and it tastes like a mouthful of bitter wine against the raw throat - and it breaks them slowly, and it takes its time.

* * *

Excited screams echo from the TV screen, but they mingle with the summer shower just outside their safe house, and they fade away against the thunders raging across the sky, and they almost reach him; breaking the heavy fog that had settled over his mind. He startles, and the thunder roars; and if it sounds like the voice yelling in his head, he ignores it. It is not something he is ready to confront yet.

The cup of tea in his hand had grown cold, and he puts it down onto the table. There is another one by his side, and a plate of cookies right next to it; and when exactly they got there was a mystery to him, but he remembers the faint scent of a cologne lingering, and then silence.

They were giving him space, or they were taking it for themselves.

_(but he remembers how Nicky's heart came back to life beneath his palm and suddenly he doesn't want this empty space anymore)_

He breathes, and the grip around his lungs doesn't yield; he has been drowning since the moment they got into the car, leaving behind the man that has been part of their family for more than 200 years - they may be immortal but those years matter, they matter - but the rage, it burns and it devours all the love there is, and it feels like he is left with only resentment and an urge to hurt, to show how he had been hurt.

_( **he deserves it** , a part of him whispers; but his heart only aches and aches and aches) _

Back at the screen, France scores a goal, and there is cheering and yelling and suddenly it's too much, and he is alone, there is an empty space next to him and he is missing him-.

_(if he breaks the remote as he throws it at the wall, no one mentions)_

* * *

The phantom pain of the wound at the back of his head stays, his skin itching as he dries his hair with a towel and tries to ignore how his ribs still ache sometimes. He never remains in one spot for too long; these last few days he was always on the move, checking up on everyone and tying loose ends, not letting his mind wander too far from the task at hand.

_(because if it does, it will go to the empty room next to theirs, to the empty bed surrounded with flasks and hidden empty bottles, to the bookcase and an old lap top no one but him used to carry around)_

But there is only that much you can do to not feel, and as he sits on their bed, dressed in Joe's shirt and with the scent of Tali's perfume all around, his eyes fall onto the bedside table and his hands are already reaching out for the hard covers of a book he knows was borrowed.

He knows it by heart (almost), yet he still turns the pages and caresses the dog ears he had made a few months ago, the underlined lines and scribbled comments in gray pen - and they almost cut through his skin because he should be angry, he should be furious and he should not mourn; but he does.

He does, because Booker is a soul that's been suffering for so long, and a part of him keeps on feeling guilty for not seeing it earlier.

_(none of them did and that's on them; that's on them only)_

There is an inscription on the first page, in a handwriting he grew familiar with, and it was the last nail in the coffin where his strength had laid:

**Talk to you next week, same time? I promise I'll take notes this time - Booker**

And Nicky breaks.

* * *

It feels heavy, the rain that falls. It bends the leaves and covers the whole backyard with puddles, all the tension of the last few days crashing onto the ground. The air is thick, and breathing in deeply doesn't make her chest hurt less; if anything, it makes the crawling across her skin even more intense.

The last few decades feel like centuries on her soul.

With Andy safely tucked and resting, it was supposed to feel easier; it was supposed to be the end of sleepless nights and tears and absence that makes you claw at your skin from all the nightmares that cling to your mind and don't let go. It wasn't supposed to come with a new hole in a shape of someone else, by their side.

She wasn't there, and when she came back another part of her was gone.

_(and it was her best friend, the one that reminded her of her past far too much, of another soul she had to leave behind when immortality selfishly claimed her)_

The rain grows stronger, and she steps into it, the water soaking her hair and clothes and that part of her that is always cold, always alone - and it asks, **_do you think that your presence would have change how it all went?_**

And she doesn't know; and maybe that's what hurts the most - how it was a tragedy waiting to happen, building on from the suffering they were blind to, and now he is there alone and they are here, and neither side feels good about it.

But she wasn't there, and the verdict was made; and the judges that have made it-.

_(her family, their family)_

\- are not ready to negotiate.

_(not now, and no one knows when)_

Maybe their family is cursed - to never be whole, no matter how hard they try.

* * *

Three dead hearts kept on beating after that night; but something was always missing, and no one was brave enough to call it by its name - Sèbastien.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr - https://chasing-the-sunflowers.tumblr.com/


End file.
